The need for resilience

RESILIENCE -Award winning portrait photograph by Melissa Mills, taken September 2022 as part of the HerStory project.

Resilience is something you can only develop over time.

It takes consistent effort and awareness to build your resilience so that when you take a ‘hit’, you can work through the impact and bounce back quicker and stronger than before.

It isn’t that people with high levels of resilience are never negatively impacted; it’s that the negative effect does not persist.

One way of looking at resilience in the modern day is ‘advancing despite adversity’.

Put simply, working towards your vision, being proactive and not waiting for adversity while tackling large and small everyday challenges.

It’s critical to work on your resilience when you’re good so that you’re prepared when something challenging pops up.

There are quite a few online resources on how to build resilience, and not all suggestions suit everyone.

If this is an area you want to develop in, a quick Google search will help you identify what works for you.

The reason why resilience is essential is that it helps you to see challenges as opportunities.

It drives you to commit and achieve goals.

It reminds you to focus on what you can control and not blame others.

And the added bonus and my personal favourite… it encourages positive thinking.

Building a solid resilience base doesn’t mean you won’t get knocked for a six now and then.

It also doesn’t mean that you handle it well when you do get knocked. But, it can be the difference

between adversity paired with hope and adversity paired with despair.

I listened to an audiobook recently, which I immensely enjoyed as it was about the use of transitions between activities, enabling a person to show up as their most present self.

It resonated because of the dots I could connect between using the third space and the level of resilience a person has.

The two walk hand in hand through deliberate choice and a commitment to personal development.

The two intertwined can weave incredible outcomes for a person and build a sense of purpose and confidence many spend years chasing.

What is this ‘Third Space’? – Every day, we undertake dozens of different roles, tasks and experiences. Most of us habitually carry our mindset and emotional stack from one of these activities to the next, and all too often, this has negative, occasionally disastrous consequences.

For years we’ve been told it’s getting the ‘big’ stuff right which gives us balance and makes us happy; the www.nyreejohnson.com.au

holidays, the audacious goals, the pay rises.

But in our hearts, we know it’s the small stuff: a great result at work, our welcome home, an absorbing conversation, a game with the kids.

Dr Adam Fraser has written this book, The Third Space, which shares the importance of getting the small stuff right and making each moment in life more rewarding.

Thanks to this book, there is now a name I can associate with a practice I like to engage in titled ‘the third space’.

The third space is about making the transition between activities work for you.

To mentally ‘show up’ having acknowledged and reflected on what just happened and focus on what’s coming up.

“The ‘First Space’ is what you’re doing now. The ‘Second Space’ is what you’re about to do, and the ‘Third Space’ is the gap in the middle” – Dr Adam Fraser.

“The third space is simply a technique that allows us to compartmentalise. A mindfulness and self-awareness method that helps us to decompress in a matter of minutes.”

Compartmentalising what we go through in life is one way to build resilience, enabling a desirable use of the third space.

When you acknowledge that you can’t control what is happening to you or around you, you can focus on what you can manage and compartmentalise what you can’t.

After all, there is no point in worrying about things you can’t change.

Grabbing control of the third space ensures you can consistently show up as your best self in every situation.

With practice and consistency, it will come naturally in no time. Notwithstanding, we recognise life isn’t always roses, and the transition period can’t always be executed perfectly; but, we can aim for done rather than perfection.

In this ‘busy’ world some are trapped in, it can be impossible to consider how to find those few minutes or seconds to make the most of the third space between activities.

While a fleeting moment can pass, we can acknowledge where we’ve come from, catch our breath, focus and lay out a plan to

ensure our time and energy are used for maximum impact. It enables and calm and composed state of mind.

Resilience and the use of the third space blended with an ‘Intentional Imbalance’ results in an ability to be exactly where you need and want to be at precisely the right time, with a calm and composed state of mind and the recognition that while at times, you may walk slowly, you’ll never walk backwards.